[It seems that exact thing is what his team has strived for since he joined. To go out with a bang, dragging the whole world with them. Strange how things work out that way...]
Even if it did, it isn't like you or I could have changed it. No amount of anger, confusion, or disbelief would change it.
I just...don't know why I...
[And he trails off, there.
He felt all of those things and more, yes. But he doesn't understand why he felt so...
[Given the terrible things he's done, he might have argued that before...humanity had nothing for him. The one time it offered him something, it was just taken away. He hasn't really...expected much more than that.
Now it's Nagi's turn for his brows to furrow slightly.]
Maybe. If that's the case, it's amazing you've bothered putting up with me this long.
["Rival", "Friend", ...Neku means a lot of things to him now, apparently.]
[He doesn't respond right away, his chin tilting down- he isn't wearing anything with a high collar today, but he does have one of Chihiro's scarves, and it works just as well. A hand sneaks up and touches headphones that haven't been there for over a year now]
When I went back the fight time, I met someone. His name was Joshua. Well, actually Yoshiya but whatever. Joshua. We fought side by side and... I dunno. I felt like he understood me? He was an asshole. Most frustrating guy I know- yeah even more then you. By a lot. But... I dunno, I felt like we had a connection.
Turned out in the end he was... playing from the start. He was the guy that killed me. What he did really messed me up. But still... what he did is why I'm me NOW instead of the me you met the first time.
You kinda remind me of him in some ways. Not that I'm like, trying to play replacements here. Cuz trust me you're a LOT different too. Just, hell... I don't want to see you end up like him. Alone and too messed up to reach anyone. Like I was too.
[Nagi is silent as he listens, watching Neku's almost imperceptible gestures he's come to recognize as explicitly Neku, somehow. But the difference between this Neku and the one he first met...
Well. This one has stopped hiding.]
...you have to understand something. I was messed up long before I ever found myself in this place. I don't think that much will ever change.
But you...are irritating, stubborn, persistent...everything a proper rival should be.
[...]
It may not fix everything. But...I suppose having a...friend who knows how terrible people- and the world- can be...helps.
I only realized then that I wasn't ready to lose that. Not yet.
[He smiles into his scarf, flushing red all over again]
I kinda guessed that. And honestly I dunno if I'll really ever understand a lot of it. Our degrees of screwed up are on totally different scales, I think.
Still, I don't wanna lose it either. So I guess you gotta put up with me being obnoxious for now.
[Even with most of the tension diffused, Nagi still can't help but feel...conflicted. It would be easier to just forget all of this ever happened, but knowing this world can pull something like this...it's concerning. Either way, it shows a little in the way he glances away again, down at his Lunatone hovering next to him. He's sure she remembers part of the encounter at least, so he won't have to wonder if it was just a dream or not.]
If only this world would have been kind enough to leave me back in Pallet, but that's likely asking for too much.
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no subject
What was that quote...?
[He tilts his head back, eyes closed as he thinks]
"The only guarantee in life is death, but the only thing worse than death itself, is being forgotten."
I can't really blame you, considering everything that happened. I woulda been pretty pissed too.
no subject
Even if it did, it isn't like you or I could have changed it. No amount of anger, confusion, or disbelief would change it.
I just...don't know why I...
[And he trails off, there.
He felt all of those things and more, yes. But he doesn't understand why he felt so...
...Hurt.]
no subject
I dunno man, guess it just means you're still human after all. We all wanna mean something to someone.
no subject
Now it's Nagi's turn for his brows to furrow slightly.]
Maybe. If that's the case, it's amazing you've bothered putting up with me this long.
["Rival", "Friend", ...Neku means a lot of things to him now, apparently.]
no subject
When I went back the fight time, I met someone. His name was Joshua. Well, actually Yoshiya but whatever. Joshua. We fought side by side and... I dunno. I felt like he understood me? He was an asshole. Most frustrating guy I know- yeah even more then you. By a lot. But... I dunno, I felt like we had a connection.
Turned out in the end he was... playing from the start. He was the guy that killed me. What he did really messed me up. But still... what he did is why I'm me NOW instead of the me you met the first time.
You kinda remind me of him in some ways. Not that I'm like, trying to play replacements here. Cuz trust me you're a LOT different too. Just, hell... I don't want to see you end up like him. Alone and too messed up to reach anyone. Like I was too.
Plus I just like being around you.
no subject
Well. This one has stopped hiding.]
...you have to understand something. I was messed up long before I ever found myself in this place. I don't think that much will ever change.
But you...are irritating, stubborn, persistent...everything a proper rival should be.
[...]
It may not fix everything. But...I suppose having a...friend who knows how terrible people- and the world- can be...helps.
I only realized then that I wasn't ready to lose that. Not yet.
no subject
I kinda guessed that. And honestly I dunno if I'll really ever understand a lot of it. Our degrees of screwed up are on totally different scales, I think.
Still, I don't wanna lose it either. So I guess you gotta put up with me being obnoxious for now.
no subject
no subject
Or well, want now.
no subject
I'm not going to stop you.
no subject
Like you could.
no subject
...I would still like to do them in order, though.
no subject
no subject
[Even with most of the tension diffused, Nagi still can't help but feel...conflicted. It would be easier to just forget all of this ever happened, but knowing this world can pull something like this...it's concerning. Either way, it shows a little in the way he glances away again, down at his Lunatone hovering next to him. He's sure she remembers part of the encounter at least, so he won't have to wonder if it was just a dream or not.]
If only this world would have been kind enough to leave me back in Pallet, but that's likely asking for too much.