unkinder | ☆ 005 | Anonymous Text

[The network seems to have been seeing an influx of anonymous texts lately, and this one is no exception. Seems like the events of the past weekend have had some residents doing some reflecting.]

It is inevitable that no relationship will truly last forever. No matter how confident you are in the thought that things will be fine, they won't. You can delude yourself into thinking they will, but eventually they will dissolve and those left behind will move on.

Is it truly worth it to allow yourself to entrust another enough to open up to them, knowing that one day it will all go away? Is it worth letting yourself be hurt just for the brief moment of pleasure that person's presence might give you? Is it worth the risk of that person betraying your trust, only to come after you with malicious intent? Someone who you were so sure you knew until they have left you. Manipulated you. Deceived you.

Feel free to provide any answer you would like, but don't think you will impress me by saying it is better to have loved and lost than to have ever loved at all.

So tell me. Is it really?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I commend your timing; I too have been wondering about this sort of thing. I have always been of the opinion that it is better to care for no one except oneself. In my line of work especially, it is unwise to trust anyone. And yet, recently I have found myself doing just that - caring about another person. I have no explanation for this, and it's very troubling. If I were anywhere near as intelligent as I like to think I am, I would break off the relationship before these feelings became any stronger. But it is... difficult to do so.

Am I to assume you are in a similar situation?

[...]

Not necessarily at this current point and time, no.

But I have been.

Then you are assuredly better off than I am. I hope you ended it on your own terms, though your questions lead me to believe it may have been otherwise.

If it had ended the way I intended, I wouldn't be having this conversation with you.

Fair enough. You have my deepest sympathy.

If it ended as badly as all that, though, surely that ought to be enough to persuade you such relationships aren't worth it. Why the questions? I assume you weren't simply intending to use your own experience as a cautionary tale.

I wasn't. I actually had the opportunity to see them again, very briefly. A bit of a cruel reminder that I even fell for them at all, really.

Ah. So this weekend decided to work its questionable charms on you too. I think quite a few of us would have been far happier had it never happened.

So you encountered someone whom you used to care for. But you no longer have feelings for them, correct? Are you, dare I say it, happier without those feelings?

[...]

I think you have misunderstood me. My time with this person ended unsatisfactorily, but it wasn't due to anything they did to me personally.

They were murdered. I cared for them until the moment they died in my arms. Then they came back. Alive.

And now they are gone again.

It makes me wish that I hadn't made the attempt to get to know them at all. If I hadn't, none of this would be happening to me.

Oh.

[ What is he supposed to say to that? ]

My condolences. I mistook the situation entirely.

If I may ask: you say you saw your partner again. Did they seem to regret the relationship as much as you do?

[...]

I don't know. It was hard to tell.

[He can't and isn't about to explain how Tot is, but...it certainly makes it difficult to piece together what she's thinking sometimes. Not that things between them came up very much anyway.]

It doesn't matter. While I do regret what ended up happening, I'm not entirely sure I regret what I experienced while I was with them. I still couldn't properly tell you my feelings about it, even if I wanted to.

Well, I'd say that rather answers the question, doesn't it? If there is a part of you that doesn't regret the experience, perhaps it ought to be listened to - if for no other reason than to save yourself undue anguish.

[ He's trying to convince himself more than his conversation partner. He doesn't want to end up regretting his relationship, but... ]

Are you saying I should remember the moments with them that I considered to be good and push away the rest?

I am saying that perhaps the good ought to outweigh the bad, at least in hindsight. I am, of course, no expert. The subject is, as you're well aware, complicated, and I certainly have never been in your position. But it will likely not be long before I end up in a similar one, and I should think I would like to remember the experience fondly, on the whole.

If that happens, you will be lucky. I haven't had many encounters with people- much less people I care about to some degree- that were largely memorable or overall nice experiences. There are a few, of course, but far fewer than most people have enjoyed in their lifetimes.

☆ 005 | Anonymous Text

[anon forever]

[so much anon on this post]

[what did you expect nagi honestly]

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